For I am a mere Sorting Hat
by malfoyforever
Summary: Which House would Twilight characters be in IF they went to Hogwarts? Not really a story, inspired by Loveliest Tragedies's "Half Blood Houses". Chapter 1: The Olympic Coven. COMPLETE.
1. The Olympic Coven

_The Olympian Coven _

_Isabella Marie Swan Cullen _

"Cullen, Isabella!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Bella is forcibly Hufflepuff, as she demonstrates several traits: loyalty, honesty (she says she does not like to lie), caring (she cares for Renee and Charlie very much), and non-judging (she does not care whether the Cullens are vampires or not). **

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen _

"Cullen, Edward!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Edward is most obviously a Gryffindor – he is brave, chivalrous, and loyal. Un point, c'est tout! **

_Mary Alice Brandon Cullen _

"Cullen, Alice!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: I had thought of putting her in Slytherin for her indifference to what others cared and cunning and then in Gryffindor for her nerve and daring, but finally I decided on Hufflepuff. Perhaps Alice's most defining quality is her outgoing, friendly personality, and that's a Hufflepuff standard. **

_Jasper Whitlock Hale _

"Hale, Jasper!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Sure, ole Jazz's a good person, but "bad person" isn't really in Slytherin criteria, is it? I think that Jasper would have been cunning to be such a good soldier – anticipating the move of the enemy, you know, and outsmarting them? I think he's also ambitious and determined, and brave in a Slytherin-way. **

_Rosalie Lillian Hale _

"Hale, Rosalie!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Hmm, Rose was a hard one, all right. I thought of Hufflepuff, but then declined. After all, she is very alike Narcissa Malfoy (who was also very loyal to her family) and Cissa was a Slytherin, was she not? **

_Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen _

"Cullen, Emmett!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Yay, now Emmett's joining Edward! Emmett is reckless, impatient, brave, daring, and has nerve: perfect lion, that one. **

_Carlisle Cullen _

"Cullen, Carlisle!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Carlisle couldn't be any other House besides Hufflepuff, really. His strongest trait is compassion and he is patient and non-judgmental. **

_Esme Anne Platt Cullen _

"Cullen, Esme!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: While her husband's strongest trait is compassion, hers is the ability to love. She is kind, generous, non-judgmental, patient, and caring. **

_Renesmee Carlie Cullen _

"Cullen, Renesmee!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: So little Nessie joins her dad at the Gryffindor table! From what we hear from Nessie, she's kind, honorable, intelligent, competitive, and curious. However, I think that Renesmee would be most like her father, hence her Gryffindor Sorting. **

* * *

><p><strong>Next up: The Quileute shapeshifters! <strong>

**After that: The Volturi **

**Please read and review! **


	2. The Quileutes

_The Quileutes (shape-shifters and a few others) _

_Jacob Black _

"Black, Jacob!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Jacob tricks Bella until she realizes that she loves him. He tells Charlie about the motorcycles as means of revenge. That's cunning. He is rebellious (disregard for the rules, in Dumbledore's words). He is also somewhat clever, as he rebuilds cars and stuff. **

_Sam Uley _

"Uley, Sam!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Sam is all for the prejudices about the vampires – which makes him quite the opposite of a Hufflepuff. Indeed, Slytherins judge. He is also clever and a leader (Alpha, y'know?). **

_Emily Young _

"Young, Emily!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Yes, Emily is quite caring and all, but I personally think it took her some nerve to mention Joshua Uley to Sam in a derogatory fashion, and thus she will be a lion. Also, Gryffindors are known to be loyal. **

_Jared Cameron _

"Cameron, Jared!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Jared's personality is not well explored. We can however scavenge the fact that he is a gambler and obeys Sam's orders. That puts out Slytherin. I do not believe him to be too much of a Hufflepuff, nor a Ravenclaw type. Gryffindor would be best, as he is probably brave and is loyal. **

_Paul Lahote _

"Lahote, Paul!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Paul was easy enough. He has a temper, yeah, and he's annoying, cocky, and dominating. He doesn't give the impression of being a Slytherin, Ravenclaw would not be fit, and Hufflepuff either (I see not much caring in him). Thus, he is a Gryffindor. **

_Seth Clearwater _

"Clearwater, Seth!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: And here we have it, the first Hufflepuff Quileute. He's pure, sincere, and kind, according to Edward. He is also described as cheerful and outgoing. **

_Leah Clearwater _

"Clearwater, Leah!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Leah is loyal under her bitter old self, and I think she is brave and daring as well. She certainly possesses nerve. **

_Embry Call _

"Call, Embry!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Now Seth has a buddy in Hufflepuff! Embry's sweet, reserved, playful, and very, very loyal. He is also caring. **

_Quil Ateara _

"Ateara, Quil!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: And there's our third badger! Quil is happy that he can finally be back with his friends when he phases, demonstrating his loyalty. He is also friendly. Sam said that his chocolate brown fur could reflect his "sweet" personality. I personally agree. **

_William Black (Billy) _

"Black, William!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Ravenclaw is particularly known for wisdom and intelligence. Billy is certainly wise, and I am sure he is intelligent as well. However, he has a cunning streak (bribing Jacob to tell Bella to break up with Edward), but I think his Ravenclaw traits domine. **

_Sue Clearwater _

"Clearwater, Sue!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: We don't see Sue too much either, but she _is_ very strong, brave, and tough. Better be Gryffindor, then!**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next up: Alas, not the Volturi, but James's Coven. <em>**

**_After that: I hope to remember to do the Volturi! _**

**_Please read and review! _**


	3. James's Coven

_James's Coven _

_James _

"James!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: This one was a bit, to say, obvious here. James is cunning and ruthless and he is determined to capture his prey. He is also a leader.**

_Victoria _

"Victoria!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Ditto what I said about James. She is cunning and ruthless as well, she does not stop hunting Bella in vengeance, and her gift, for goodness's sake is **_**self-preservation**_**. **

_Laurent _

"Laurent!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Ditto again, about what I said about James and Victoria. I am adding that SM described him as "a man who was drawn to those with power, to ally himself with them until they were decimated, and then he would flee for his life." That puts in ambition, cunning, and self-preservation, an ideal Slytherin blend. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next up: The Volturi! <strong>_

_**After that: Nahuel and his family! **_

_**Please read and review! **_


	4. The Volturi

_The Volturi (The most important members, that is)_

_Aro _

"Aro!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: I don't think there was any other choice. Aro takes advantage of people, is cunning, determined (repeatedly asks Alice to join the Volturi), ruthless (kills his own sister), and very ambitious. He is also one of the three leaders of the Volturi. **

_Caius _

"Caius!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Caius couldn't be anywhere else. He is cruel, ruthless, and enjoys the sight of bloodshed. He is stubborn (a mark of strong-will). He is cunning, as when he was out-voted, he decided to execute Irina for her false accusations. **

_Marcus _

"Marcus!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Well, I thought of putting him in Hufflepuff, but I finally decided on Gryffindor. Marcus stands up for his views about Bella and Edward to Caius and Aro and was very loyal to his wife, grief-stricken when she died. He also attempted to leave the Volturi with his wife, hence Aro's murder of her. **

_Didyme _

"Didyme!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Didyme was Marcus's wife, Aro's biological sister, but she got murdered by the latter after the mates discussed leaving the Volturi. She had the gift to project an aura of happiness, making herself joyful as well. Thus, I believe her to be a Hufflepuff. **

_Alec _

"Alec!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Alec is quieter, less lively, and calmer than his twin. No matter, he is however calculating, ruthless, and sadistic. Calculating, I think, is a Slytherin quality. **

_Jane _

"Jane!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Does anyone see a likeness to Bellatrix here? Jane is sadistic, dark, and delights in using her gift to torture others. She has a quick temper and worships Aro. (Bellamort anybody?) **

_Renata_

"Renata!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Um, yeah. So Renata is very loyal and devoted to her master, Aro, and willing to sacrifice her life for him. She does not have a desire for either fight or bloodshed. (This may show peacefulness). **

_Demetri _

"Demetri!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Demetri is formal, polite, and elegant – chivalrous, in short. He is loyal and enjoys working for the Volturi. **

_Chelsea _

"Chelsea!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Chelsea's gift permits to create or sever ties between people. She uses them for her masters' purposes and has no objection to serving them. However, she often convinces Aro to get her what she desires, which he accepts because of her value. **

_Heidi _

"Heidi!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Heidi uses her gift of physical attraction to attract "food" for the Volturi. **

_Felix _

"Felix!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Felix is "somewhat of a comedian and a flirt". These are resemblances to James Potter, the First, I think. He is also excited at the prospect of a fight. Thus, Felix will join Demetri at the Gryffindor table.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next up: Nahuel and his Family <em>**

**_After that: Various Humans (Including Renee, Charlie, and people of Forks) _**

**_Please read and review! _**


	5. Nahuel and his Family

_Nahuel and his Family _

_Nahuel _

"Nahuel!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Nahuel is selfless, honorable, and loyal. He cares very much for his aunt and would not hurt without a reason. **

_Joham _

"Joham!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Second 'Claw, now. I don't think Billy will be too happy. Joham is very curious and of a scientific type. Sure, he gives no regard towards human life, but what he does are all experiments to enlarge his knowledge. In Bartimus Crotchety's words: "****To be intellectual and never feel emotion, and be untouched by others and their plight, that was easy". I think that perfectly describes Joham. **

_Serena _

"Serena!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: That was easy. Nahuel doesn't like Serena, as he describes her "too much like his father". **

_Huilen _

"Huilen!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: I hesitated between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, but I decided on Gryffindor, as Huilen was described as "the strong, capable one". Gryffindors are strong. She must have had nerve to chase Serena away when the hybrid came looking for Nahuel. **

_Pire _

"Pire!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Pire loved her unborn son even after he hurt her and was obviously caring. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next up: Various Humans <strong>_

_**After that: The Irish Coven **_

_**Please read and review! **_


	6. Various Humans

_Various Humans _

_Charlie Swan _

"Swan, Charlie!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Oh, I just love Charlie! He's awesome! Anyways, Charlie is caring but overbearing at times, shy at expressing his feelings, and resents Edward for hurting Bella by leaving her. This is a mark of loyalty. **

_Renée Higginbotham Dwyer _

"Dwyer, Renée!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Renée resembles Luna Lovegood a lot, I think. She is eccentric, creative, and just a bit nutty, very perceptive. She's caring as well, though, and loyal. Oh, well. Ravenclaw is where she'd fit the best, I think. **

_Angela Weber _

"Weber, Angela!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Angela is kind, shy, gentle, insightful, and pure. She never thinks bad things about Bella and Edward and cares for other honestly. Good luck in Hufflepuff, Angela! **

_Jessica Stanley _

"Stanley, Jessica!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Jessica is cunning to pretend to be Bella's friend while really resenting her and she is somewhat shallow and silly. **

_Michael Newton (Mike) _

"Newton, Michael!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Mike is sweet and loyal, like a golden retriever, and he does accept Bella after her depression. He is very friendly. **

_Ben Cheney _

"Cheney, Ben!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Ben is sweet, shy, and true. He does not reject Bella for her depression over Edward's departure. **

_Tyler Crowley _

"Crowley, Tyler!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Tyler is reckless, loyal, and brave. I think he is brave for telling everyone that he is taking Bella to the prom when Edward clearly has her and loyal for repeatedly attempting to redeem himself. He is also described as cocky, headstrong, and funny. **

_Lauren Mallory _

"Mallory, Lauren!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Lauren is cold, unfriendly, and snobby. She is also very sarcastic. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next up: The Irish Coven <strong>_

_**After that: The Denali Coven **_

_**Please read and review!**_


	7. The Irish Coven

_The Irish Coven _

_Liam _

"Liam!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: I think Liam would be like Jasper – he was, after all, an Irish soldier. He holds grudges for a long time – feeding on Englishmen after centuries of killing them – and is presumably clever and cunning. He is also shown to be careful. **

_Siobhan _

"Siobhan!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Siobhan would have to be ambitious to change Maggie because there was a prospect that she would be a talented vampire. **

_Maggie _

"Maggie!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Perhaps Maggie's most dominant trait is her love of honesty – she can detect lies. She is very just as well. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next up: The Denali Coven <strong>_

_**After that: American Nomads **_

_**Please read and review! **_


	8. The Denali Coven

_The Denali Coven _

_Tanya _

"Tanya!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Tanya is insightful, playful, and affectionate. She is very loyal to Carlisle and his coven and considers herself as extended family. She initially started as attracting men with her vampire allures, but then stopped when her conscience caught up with her, so she was good at the end. **

_Katrina (Kate) _

"Katrina!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Kate is playful, loyal, and brave. She is described as passionate and determined. She would rather die for her family than sit on the sidelines; thus, she is not self-preserved. She does not fear danger, except for immortal children, and even death. She is laid-back. **

_Irina _

"Irina!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: When Carlisle asks the Denali Coven for help against Victoria and her army, they refuse because of Irina, who said she would help if they allowed her to get revenge on the wolves. This is cunning. She is also determined, I think. **

_Carmen _

"Carmen!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Carmen is a gentle, compassionate, maternal, and kind person, "well suited for the vegetarian lifestyle". She is the first to truly meet Renesmee. **

_Eleazar _

"Eleazar!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Eleazar is a gentle, compassionate vampire, and is very protective of people he loves, such as his mate Carmen when he believed Renesmee was an immortal child. **

_Garrett _

"Garrett!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: This one was easy! Garrett is curious, daring, brave, and has nerve. He is also loyal and I believe him chivalrous. **

_Sasha _

"Sasha!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Sasha is the one who creates an immortal child and was executed for it. She was the "mother" of the sisters. She obviously cared for them and kept the secret from them. I think she was brave and daring for doing such a feat under the Volturi's noses, but we will never truly know her true reasons.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next up: American Nomads<em>**

**_ After that: A Few Select Members of Victoria's Army of Newborns _**

**_Please read and review!_**


	9. American Nomads

_American Nomads _

_Charlotte _

"Charlotte!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: It is mentioned that Charlotte is bookish, controlled, and even when she was a newborn. Thus, I believe her to be a Ravenclaw. **

_Peter _

"Peter!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Peter was a strong vampire, as he survived past his newborn phase, and was very civilized and did not like to fight. **

_Mary _

"Mary!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Mary declared her loyalty to the Cullens, even though there was a risk she could have been killed by the Volturi. That is both brave and loyal. **

_Randall _

"Randall!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: We do not see much of Randall, but it is obvious that he is loyal to the Cullens.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next up: Victoria's Newborn Army <em>**

**_After that: The Egyptian Coven _**

**_Please read and review! _**


	10. Victoria's Newborn Army: A Few Members

_Victoria's Newborn Army _

_(A few members, that is)_

_Riley Biers _

"Biers, Riley!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Riley here is very much like a blindly loyal Death Eater. He is manipulative with the newborns, as shown in **_**Bree Tanner**_**. **

_Diego _

"Diego!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: I had initially thought of Hufflepuff, as he was very loyal to Riley, his friend, but then I decided on Ravenclaw, as he was clever and careful, more so than other newborns. **

_Bree Tanner _

"Tanner, Bree!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Bree was clever and although she was allied with the army, she was merely playing along for her own safety, which is self-preservation. She was also brave, as she was not afraid of death. **

_Fred _

"Fred!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Fred is clever, quiet, and is described as a "science nerd". He is logical and prefers to keep to himself, reading. **

_Raoul _

"Raoul!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Raoul was one of the most ruthless newborns. He takes joy in tearing people apart and is the leader of a mini-gang. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next up: The Egyptian Coven <strong>_

_**After that: Nomads - Charles, Makenna, and Alistair**_

_**Please read and review!**_


	11. The Egyptian Coven

_The Egyptian Coven _

_Amun _

"Amun!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Amun has ambitions to override the Volturi, but knows when to back off (self-preservation) in front of authority. He is described as paranoid, outspoken, and fearful. He also tries to use Benjamin, but the other won't let himself be used. He is distrustful. He used to have human slaves and manipulates his mate. **

_Kebi _

"Kebi!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: I couldn't put Kebi in Ravenclaw (because she is blindly loyal to her mate, Amun), Gryffindor (because she would have stood up to him long ago, otherwise), or Slytherin (for the same reasons, though I would add that she could have found a way to run away or outsmart him). So, that leaves Hufflepuff. **

_Benjamin _

"Benjamin!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Oh, I like Benjamin! He's confident and strongly independent, refusing to be used by Amun. He is described to have a clear sense of right and wrong and has a "good" attitude. I would have said Slytherin for the independence, but Slytherins don't have the best morality levels. I think he's brave. **

_Tia _

"Tia!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Tia is described as "quietly clever and awfully insightful". This means that she is clever and wise. I also think that she is witty and creative as well.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next up: Charles, Makenna, and Alistair <em>**

**_After that: The Amazon Coven _**

**_Please read and review! _**

**_Oh yes - I honestly don't know how many more chapters there will be after this, but my best estimate is three to four. _**


	12. Charles, Makenna, and Alistair

_Charles, Makenna, and Alistair _

_Charles _

"Charles!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

**Note: Charles's special gift is truth detection, which means he can detect the truth. Thus, he must have been an honesty-lover in his former life for his gift to evolve like that. He is also caring, I think, and protective of his mate. **

_Makenna _

"Makenna!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Makenna is part of a family where every other century, a child is chosen to be changed and assigned to be a protector of the family. Luca, the head of that group of vampires, told her that she could remain human after she met Charles, but she declined, as she had been looking forward to her fate. This shows that she knows what she wants and is determined to get it, showing both ambition and determination. **

_Alistair _

"Alistair!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

**Note: Alistair is clever, but he is also brooding and deeply mistrustful of authority figures. He ran away instead of defending the Cullens like he had promised. This takes down Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Alistair may possess self-preservation, but he is humble and when he was human, he preferred training falcons than conspiring against the regime. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next up: The Amazon Coven <strong>_

_**After that: The Romanian Coven **_

_**Please read and review! **_


	13. The Amazon Coven

_The Amazon Coven _

_Karichi _

"Karichi!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Karichi is the leader of the coven. When she was changed, she went back for her best friends, and they have been together since. This demonstrates her loyalty. She is apparently the wildest of the three, and she does not run from the confrontation. Thus, she is brave. Bravery and loyalty are traits of Gryffindor House. **

_Zafrina _

"Zafrina!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: Zafrina is caring and befriends Renesmee quickly. She is also willing to help the Cullens defend themselves against the Volturi. She is wild, uncivilized, brave, and loyal. Thus, Gryffindor. **

_Senna_

"Senna!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

**Note: We don't see much of Senna – we can deduce from her portrayal in Breaking Dawn that she is very quiet and tends to stick with Zafrina. This indicates her loyalty. I think she would have to be audacious, along with her "sisters", to not stick up a human façade. Audacity is a sign of bravery, I think.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next up: The Romanian Coven <em>**

**_After that: In conclusion - A Head Count _**

**_Please read and review! _**


	14. The Romanian Coven

_The Romanian Coven _

_Vladimir _

"Vladimir!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: Vladimir was once part, with Stefan, of a powerful, successful coven. He was ambitious and wanted to rule the vampire world. When the Volturi destroyed their castles, he and Stefan were the only to escape. They are bitter and keep grudges against the Volturi, particularly Alec and Jane. Vladimir is ruthless and cunning. **

_Stefan _

"Stefan!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Note: There is not much differing Stefan from Vladimir. They both harbor the same grudges – they wish to "rip their filthy eyes out of their sockets". Bella considers him and Vladimir as bad influences for Renesmee. He is definitely snarky and delights in the Volturi's cowardice and pathetic manner. **

* * *

><p><strong>Next up: In conclusion - A Head Count <strong>

**Please read and review! **


	15. In Conclusion: A Head Count

_In Conclusion – A Head Count _

**Now, let us check the number of members in each House: **

Gryffindor: 21

Hufflepuff: 22

Ravenclaw: 10

Slytherin: 25

**We can deduct that in the Twilight world, there are many Slytherins, Gryffindors, and Hufflepuffs – and not many Ravenclaws. We can also see that many characters share common traits – such as Angela, Seth, and Quil, who are all described as "sweet" and "pure". **

**It was very interesting reading between the lines in the characters, and I might just post another story like this - who knows. **

**Thank you for reading! :) **


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